This grad life…

Wrapping up the last few days of the my first semester in grad school. I know! It feels strange typing those words. Where has the time gone? I’m so close to freedom I can almost taste and feel it. It feels like being in an open field with wet grass under your feet and cool breeze in your hair. It tastes like every seafood meal I tried in San Francisco this summer with a side of bacon. and milkshake. and pulled pork. That was a strange analogy because I hate wet grass. See what’s happened to me in a matter of months? I’m comparing freedom to wet grass under my feet. I need a vacation and sleep. and mixed drinks. and books. and sun. and massages.

This first semester has been challenging in more ways than I can count. I’m hoping December plays nice. I am emotionally, physically, and mentally drained. Something in the air doesn’t mix well with my blood or something because I’ve gotten a cold and fever more times than I care for. Group projects are the WORST. The absolute worst. Finances are STRETCHED. I knew how expensive and difficult things would be financially. I tried to plan and save for that, but goodness. Transitioning from full-time work with salary AND benefits to grad school is like the Chicago Bulls without Michael Jordan. Cleveland sports without Lebron. Haitian meal without rice. Peanut butter without jelly. Struggle bus here we come! Oh as if that wasn’t enough, my mother became ill before the semester started. Thanksgiving was the worst I’ve ever had. Spent the entire week in fear, exhausted, and sleep deprived helping her manage pain.

Even with the challenges this semester brought, there were good times. I saw Beyonce live  with my best friend, made new friends, and, importantly, became confident in my academic abilities. I worried about my performance because I had been out of school for five years. I questioned if I could actually be great student. I can. I will be faced with similar and even more difficult challenges, academically, but I can do it. I am capable. Even when I want to facepalm myself. Even when I’m struggling to find words to fill that page requirement. Even when the rubric makes no sense at all. I can do it.

And hey, if Three 6 Mafia can win an Oscar, then I can definitely kick grad school’s butt! (and don’t you forget to put “Oscar-winner” in front of their name. Put some respeck on it!)

p.s. the featured pic is my actual desk. I got a Canon T5 over the summer. Still learning how to use it.

p.p.s. Clearly, posting every 4 months won’t cut it for this blogging life. Follow me on other social media platforms. I’m there often.

Instagram: @dieujustemerline

Bookstagram: @mybookishdiaries


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